LynnNChicago Let's look at REAL Bullies! October 25, 2010
Kelly Bensimon didn't start the bullying discussion because I think any rational thinking human being will agree that this woman was never bullied on The Real Housewives of New York last season. I would even go so far as to call her a bully given the horrible things that she said to a pregnant Bethenny Frankel, having just buried her father and enduring a high risk pregnancy, Kelly's comments calling her a ho-bag and calling her various names, then interviewing with a huge smile on her face reminding viewers that she called Bethenny a ho-bag was a close to bullying an adult as you can get.
I don't know what the "official" definition of bullying is and I think that regardless of what Webster's says in its pages, the definition can be interpreted in many different ways. Like the Bible verses and the Constitution of the United States, people will view words and phrases in many different ways, whether they're trying to shape these words into what they want to believe the meaning originally was or to justify their behavior or beliefs, clearly everyone thinks differently about the word "Bully".
Traditionally when you hear the word "Bully" you think of the big kid on the playground who is hitting up a smaller more timid child for their lunch money. Sometimes there is violence involved, sometimes it is purely verbal intimidation or the fear of violence, but in all cases with that traditional definition of a bully, violence always seems to be associated with the bully.
The phrase, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" also comes to mind and while the first part is true, the second part is questionable. We always hope it's true, especially for those of us who have children, we hope that names that kids call each other won't hurt but I think we know that words from specific sources absolutely can hurt. A kid calling another kid "stupid" usually means little to nothing to a child but a teacher or a parent calling a child "stupid" can really cut like a knife.
Children to become physically violent with other children are clearly bullies and kids who lash out by beating up smaller and weaker kids is heartbreaking for parents. Loving, caring parents can even result in their child being a bully but hopefully can work on correcting that behavior. Unfortunately there are some parents out there who either don't care or have raised their children with some mixed up signals and created this mess, yet remain ignorant to what their child has become.
While children bullying other children is a concerning issue that has been going on for decades and can affect children going into adulthood as they carry that humiliation on with them throughout their lives.
Teens bullying teens becomes even more tragic as they are cruel and vicious in some instances causing the victim to take drastic action to end their pain. Most recent news reports of gay teens being bullied just breaks my heart. These kids already have so much to deal with, they're trying to figure out who they are, they may or may not have the support of their family and friends and they may even not know who they can talk to and who they have to hide from. This country has certainly become more tolerant of different lifestyles, but we're certainly not all the way there yet and teens are so vulnerable under any circumstances.
Imagine feeling this way and going through all of this turmoil, in addition to the normal tough times that teens face with the stress and expectations of school, sports and social activities. On top of all of that, they go out into the world minding their own business and are attacked on the street by a group of ignorant vicious teens who have no compassion or empathy at all.
Ladies and Gentlemen, these things are bullying, these things are what we must fight against, these things are what need to be brought to the forefront and stopped immediately. These bullies are the ones who we must focus on, who we must ensure are held accountable for their actions regardless of their age.
We must not get sidetracked, we can't look at a negative tweet to a unpopular celebrity as bullying, we just can't! The word "bully" has been so over-used and so abused that people like Jill Zarin and Dina Manzo are trying to equate what they deal with on Twitter to what these kids go through. These kids can't click "block" and make this unpleasantness go away. They can't go shopping to make themselves feel better, they can't spend money like water buying people's admiration.
These kids didn't accept a significant amount of money to appear on television and put their lives out there, they didn't ask to be held up to public opinion. They were simply living their lives and they were physically or verbally attacked with viciousness.
The Housewives not only use this public forum and awareness to their own benefit but they are recruiting other young and vulnerable fans to fight their battles for them, it is completely out of hand and has become a ridiculous farce!
Housewives ....some people like you, some people don't. Deal with it!
Until Next Time...
